weary wednesday
Shit wednesday.
I feel myself getting into bad habits and sliding further down into that pit called depression.I have been on 4 night shifts which doesn't help me with my body clock issues. I had a really good 4 night shifts - on with a good crowd. I laughed - the type of belly laughs that make your eyes water - it's great when that happens - one of the best feelings ever. I don't even know what we were laughing at - somthing only funny at 4 in the morning probably.
Anyway, after finishing nights tuesday morning I got to bed about 09-30am, then had to get up for shrink at 12pm. Went back to bed about 3pm-ish as was fooked - til T came come at 6pm. I was in a good mood - cracking jokes all the time (yes I can even crack jokes when I want to) - we drove to Preston to pick up a parcel of his - we went to pc world to find a new keyboard for me. He has bought this £7 shitty on which I can't type proper with - the shift key is stiff. Anyway - no keyboards i like (I want a funky one). Then we went looking at dishwashers & big plasma tellies - booooorrrriinnnnggg- ok so the tellies were impressive. T will have £7000 of his loan left after the kitchen is done - he wants a telly with the money - I said NO WAY. One of them huge tellies would just look silly - they are almost as big as the living room itself!! I cannot ever justify spending over £2500 on a telly - which is how much this one was he was looking at was. There is totally nothing wrong with the one we have got. I wouldn't mind but we hardly watch telly.
Well - T went away - away for 2 nights and i was awake and feeling lonely and getting down. i had 4 bottles of stella and then started on the vodka - didn't have a huge amount but enough to make me stagger. I was up til about 6am. Had some garlic bread - which has totally fucked up my diet. What was i doing til 6am , i was in chat rooms and stuff. When I am down I spend more time online and migrate into myself. if I have not wrote on this blog for a while it is probably coz i have been feeling better. (bastard shift key aint doing my capitals!)
Well - I woke up today at 3pm -ish, feeling CRAP and i mean crap, not really a hangover as i didn't really drink all that much - but just so down , with a terrible thirst on me. Fooked around on computer for a wee while then went back to bed. What a productive day ;/......................................................................................................
..............................................................................................
I feel myself getting into bad habits and sliding further down into that pit called depression.I have been on 4 night shifts which doesn't help me with my body clock issues. I had a really good 4 night shifts - on with a good crowd. I laughed - the type of belly laughs that make your eyes water - it's great when that happens - one of the best feelings ever. I don't even know what we were laughing at - somthing only funny at 4 in the morning probably.
Anyway, after finishing nights tuesday morning I got to bed about 09-30am, then had to get up for shrink at 12pm. Went back to bed about 3pm-ish as was fooked - til T came come at 6pm. I was in a good mood - cracking jokes all the time (yes I can even crack jokes when I want to) - we drove to Preston to pick up a parcel of his - we went to pc world to find a new keyboard for me. He has bought this £7 shitty on which I can't type proper with - the shift key is stiff. Anyway - no keyboards i like (I want a funky one). Then we went looking at dishwashers & big plasma tellies - booooorrrriinnnnggg- ok so the tellies were impressive. T will have £7000 of his loan left after the kitchen is done - he wants a telly with the money - I said NO WAY. One of them huge tellies would just look silly - they are almost as big as the living room itself!! I cannot ever justify spending over £2500 on a telly - which is how much this one was he was looking at was. There is totally nothing wrong with the one we have got. I wouldn't mind but we hardly watch telly.
Well - T went away - away for 2 nights and i was awake and feeling lonely and getting down. i had 4 bottles of stella and then started on the vodka - didn't have a huge amount but enough to make me stagger. I was up til about 6am. Had some garlic bread - which has totally fucked up my diet. What was i doing til 6am , i was in chat rooms and stuff. When I am down I spend more time online and migrate into myself. if I have not wrote on this blog for a while it is probably coz i have been feeling better. (bastard shift key aint doing my capitals!)
Well - I woke up today at 3pm -ish, feeling CRAP and i mean crap, not really a hangover as i didn't really drink all that much - but just so down , with a terrible thirst on me. Fooked around on computer for a wee while then went back to bed. What a productive day ;/......................................................................................................
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posted by me-luv-pandas @ 7:24 PM
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